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Dear Men in Blazers,

A tall man once said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” I am not a tall man, kind sirs, but I have had cause to congregate with tall men from time to time, and I now consider you, the Men in Blazers, among the tallest people I don’t know.

Should you deem me worthy of receiving the MIB email, I can promise you a substantial emotional commitment to the pod and all that it stands for. I will execute my duties carefully, competently and curiously. Should I fail to meet the standards of superior cognitive agility that you demand, then I shall bow out gracefully with the request that you kindly tell the press our parting was due to irreconcilable differences of artistic vision.

You have yourself a fine day.

- Joseph Timber Jr.

If you’d like to receive the MIB email, drop us a note at