Lady Physio, is that you?
GFOP Paul Collins eagle-eyed the one and only at the 1:13 mark. He writes, “I noticed something appalling/titillating. It was our precious Lady Physio being attacked! Get your male parts off of her, Michael Essien!”
Via @mechinations. President Obama secures the soccer mom swing vote by watching the Champions League final.
Americans were faced with a very difficult decision on Sunday. Either spend time with your one true love. Or pass the hours on Mother’s Day with wives, matriarchs and the like. Many chose the former, perched in front of an endless numbers of monitors tuned in to Soccer.
Here’s a story of one GFOP, Matt Steber, who tried to get away with both…
Having not missed a Manchester City game in ten years, I found myself faced with a dilemma this past Sunday. Mother’s Day. How cruel to have the final EPL day on Mother’s Day.
I decide to be a good husband and take my wife and kids to NYC for the weekend (knowing I would score big points with the wife for missing the match for her). Sunday after breakfast we made our way to the Metropolitan Museum. Little did she know that while she was admiring priceless works of art with the kids, I was watching the match on my phone. After the equalizer I moved ahead to another exhibit so I could watch more intently.
As the final shot smashed into the back of the net, I momentarily forgot that I was in the Museum, jumped off the bench and screamed into the face of a Greek statute as If I was at Etihad. Hearing the racket my family entered that wing only to find me being escorted out of the museum by security. Needless to say it was a long and quiet ride back to Philly. After two hours of complete silence in the car, my wife turned to me and said, “I’m glad your team finally won, you prick.”
Three days and one diamond ring later, all is forgiven and the house is back to normal. I hope the security tapes never make it to YouTube.
GFOP Ken Smoller sent us a photo of his command center on Sunday. Five matches and one can of Boddingtons, what more could you want in this world?
(GFOP Curtis vents after an incredible weekend. Send your telegrams to meninblazers@gmail.com)
To Roberto Mancini and the Manchester City players,
First off, thanks for making Survival Sunday an epic day of football. What an unbelievable finish to the season.
Second, amid all the celebrations, home fireworks displays, and Boddingtons-soaked orgies… take a second to realize what you’ve accomplished this season. Man City, with your billions of dollars and elite world-class squad, you managed to (barely) beat a Man United squad with the median age of an old folks home… consisting of a retired mid-fielder, more than a few should-have-been-put-out-to-pasture players and a half blind goalkeeper. And it took you until the very last day of the season… dramatic pause… in the final 5 minutes of stoppage time. Way to go chaps.
Maybe instead of all the celebrating, Roberto, you should be calling your squad in tomorrow to start running drills for next season.
Regards,
Curtis Pierce
a Chelsea fan in Los Angeles
A few of the footie-inspired canines GFOPs sent in to us - Didier Dogba being the clear winner. But please lend your condolences to GFOP Will Quish, whose new dog’s worrisome behavior includes an air of white supremacy and accidentally running into the backs of legs.
Because those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it: Before he was “Clintu,” one of the Premier League’s most fearsome predators, Clint Dempsey rocked “the Arya Stark pretending to be a boy” look.
The drama of the Real Madrid-Bayern penalty shoot-out as experienced by Chad Ochocinco. That bloke lives and dies with Real Madrid but still makes time amidst the drama to giggle at some toilet etiquette. (via Sam Alcarez)
GFOP Colin Phelps writes from Montana:
This large raven, which we’ve taken to calling Agamemnon, has been watching us landscape for the past couple of days. It must deliver packages to the Crap Part of SoHo.
Indeed. And Agamemnon does not like to delay, so do yourself a favor and give him a telegram to deliver. Alternatively, email also works — meninblazers (at) gmail (dot) come.
As one of the two Wigan supporters stateside, Ned and his brother-in-law John felt it was their duty to answer the question presented in last week’s pod — mainly, where has this Wigan team been all season? Born in the UK, but residing in Boston, Ned writes for the Wigan fansite Los Three Amigos and the ESPN Soccernet Wigan blog. If other GFOPs ever feel inclined to respond to the deep, penetrating analysis presented by Sammy and the Toilet, email us at meninblazers (at) gmail (dot) com.
For now, here’s the Wigan boys’ response…
1) Adapting to life without N’Zogbia
We all knew N’Zogbia would leave, but it took until deadline day to replace him. Shaun Maloney and Albert Crusat came in, neither a direct replacement, but both decent attacking players that could help the cause. Unfortunately, Maloney had been on the scotch egg diet and has taken most of the season to reach match fitness. His introduction has transformed our team in the attacking third. Replacing Jordi Gomez, who tends to pass the ball sideways 9 out of 10 times, Maloney has been a breath of fresh air. His movement is direct, he’s willing to run at people, full of clever flicks, bends a nice corner, and can shoot. He’s made a difference.
2) Struggling with defensive injuries in first half of season
Our recent success is in large part down to the defense. Al-Habsi is quality, but Caldwell, Alcaraz and Figueroa have been a revelation as a back three. Alcaraz missed much of the first half of the season through injury, and was several times rushed back to fitness due to our lack of cover in that department. Antonio Lopez and Steve Gohouri played far too many matches, they are simply not good enough. Emmerson Boyce is a very important figure for us on and off the pitch, and also missed almost the entire first half of the season. Our return to form coincided with his return to the pitch.
Read more
Here at Men in Blazers, much is written or said without any real consideration for the aftermath. GFOP Mike Rothschild was killing time recently by leafing through old newsletters when he stumbled upon the January 5th issue where we challenged readers to turn the Football Association’s report on the Luis Suarez case into a screenplay. Somebody couldn’t actually shoulder such a burden, could then? Rothschild, a playwright, humbly accepted the task.
“As a writer, I felt it was my duty to take this obtuse, nearly unreadable tome and transform it into sub-optimal entertainment,” Rothschild writes. “I gave myself a night and three cans of Boddingtons and ‘The Charge was Racism: The FA vs. Luis Suarez’ is the result.”
Football as drama. We have a feeling that other GFOPs might also be interested in reading the courtroom drama narrated by Sir Ian Darke. The document can be downloaded by clicking here.
Brandon Day made sure all GFOPs were dutifully represented at the United States’ 3-3 draw with El Salvador on Monday. Let the boys not forget to climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow, till they find their dream.
Come on you Von Trapps.
Great Scott! GFOP Gil Westfall recently dispatched via raven the October 17, 1981 edition of The Globe Kicker — A Weekly Guide to “Soccer Made in Germany.” It features Giorgio, PBS and Subbuteo. Our worlds are colliding, Back to the Future style.
Gil wrote, “When I heard those four words synapses fired in my brain, remembering some companion magazines for the show I had packed away. But is that a young Mickey and Rog playing Subbuteo on the inside front cover?” Likely, yes.
GFOP @liam_dempsey asks, “Separated at birth?” It’s hard to argue otherwise.
