If you had to make a snap judgment about a Londoner, how would you do it?
Start with the newspaper he or she is reading.
The Daily Telegraph Older conservatives who mourn the loss of the empire by placing cricket before family. Last truly happy on D-Day.
The Guardian (or The Observer on Sundays) Bikram-practicing middle-class liberals preoccupied with ending all wars and rolling their own cigarettes.
The Times of London Definitely a member of the political and corporate elite; fancies him-or herself as tolerant; has zero middle-class friends.
The Independent Slightly depressed and overeducated underachievers who are really worried about the environment.
The Daily Mail Middle-class housewives who live in fear of rising house prices, Elton John and Gypsies. Loves: Lady Thatcher, talented-pet stories and George Clooney.
The Daily Express Intolerant, easily outraged and yet to recover from Lady Diana’s death. Constant fear of terrorist attack is blunted by gin and reality TV.
The Daily Mirror A really great night out starts with binge drinking at the greyhound track.
The Sun Beloved by working-class conservatives eager to read a tabloid that goes for the jugular whether the topic is politics, soccer or topless women
In this week’s pod, one of the most heated conversation points surrounded Old Frank Lampard. Is Chelsea’s reliable old war-horse fit for the glue factory? Or does his critic-defying hat-trick suggest that he is BACK?
Michael, ever optimistic, occasionally delusional, believes the latter. I, with heavy heart, am sure his days in Chelsea’s best eleven are now few. Then what of the hattrick? I used the phrase “Grandad’s Last Erection” on the pod. It is an English child’s trick. See above for Exhibit A. The most fun you can have legally with just three matchsticks. Breathtaking stuff. Like me, you may end up wondering how this film did not garner an Oscar nod.
Fate had it that I was in Chicago when the The Bears travelled to London to face the Cowboys at Wembley — the first ever NFL game to be played in England. The pain of missing the game was immense. The only way of salving it was to go to O’Hare International Airport and welcome them back when they landed. At four in the morning.
The waiting took forever. We were the only ones at the arrivals terminal so we killed the boredom by faking delirious crowd scenes for the local news crew who were covering the emotional return.
The Bears were exhausted as they deplaned. I darted around these groggy, lumbering giants, desperate to find my favorites and force them to pose for photographs. Matt Suhey the great blocking back was first off the plane. I adored that guy and swooped down to take this shot. Then Walter Payton ambled towards the baggage carousel and the encounter that has pained me for 25 years went down. Thank you Grantland Network for allowing me a measure of release.
(The last photograph my camera took before it jammed. Sweetness RIP.)
As discussed in the latest Grantland pod, a highlight reel of Everton’s loan signee and potential season savior Royston Drenthe’s finest moments at Real Madrid. Most of which consist of him falling down. Hilariously.
