Luis Suarez and his daughter. I am not an animal. I am a human being.
The incredibly rare double-handed “wanker” sign. Enjoy this species in its natural habitat. Norwich 0 - 3 Liverpool.
It was simply not meant to be. Andy Carroll picked the worst time imaginable to step out of his fat suit and “pony-tail” home the winner against doomed Everton. Instead of an All-Men in Blazers dream FA Cup Final featuring Chelsea and America’s team, Liverpool will play Roberto Di Matteo’s side on Cinco De Mayo. On the bright side, John Terry and Luis Suarez will finally have found a soulmate eager to shake the others hand before kickoff. In this week’s midnight pod special, Roger and Michael bemoan the FA Cup Final that could have been and breakdown why things went so terribly wrong for Rog’s beloved Toffees.
Plus, the Men in Blazers recap the return of golf’s Carlos Tevez, explore mighty Ray Hudson’s bizarre sexual predilections, celebrate the state bird of Massachusetts and answer a GFOP’s hard-hitting telegram regarding the Premier League’s sexiest manager. ‘Arry can rest easy.
The current Premier League season continues to be predictably erratic. Manchester United resume their traditional script, winning late against Blackburn on Monday, while the rest of the league fails to decide on any discernible, consistent plotlines. In this week’s podcast, Michael and Roger contemplate the weekend’s action featuring all of the favorite Men in Blazers’ characters — Mario Balotelli’s self-destructive ways, Andy Carroll’s inexplicable dive, and Joey Barton’s disdain for statistics.
But it’s not all about the glamorous teams at the top of the table. The blazered men analyze the battle against relegation at the bottom. While they can decide on one of the teams set to move down at the season’s end (so long, Wolverhampton!), the other two teams leave Michael and Roger at odds.
Of course, none of this football really matters in the wake of Giorgio Chinaglia’s death on Sunday. The Cosmos legend was the Greatest Friend of the Pod and a dear colleague at SiriusXM. He forever changed the landscape of America’s Sport of the Future and we’re eternally indebted to him.
To celebrate Game of Thrones’ return to HBO, and in a craven attempt to lull die-hard Tyrion Lannister aficionados from the geopolitics of Westeros to the goals, dives, and feigned injuries of top-quality soccer, we have worked with Men in Blazers listeners to construct this GAME OF THRONES–to–ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE converter based on the characters we’ll meet in Season 2.
Here at Men in Blazers, much is written or said without any real consideration for the aftermath. GFOP Mike Rothschild was killing time recently by leafing through old newsletters when he stumbled upon the January 5th issue where we challenged readers to turn the Football Association’s report on the Luis Suarez case into a screenplay. Somebody couldn’t actually shoulder such a burden, could then? Rothschild, a playwright, humbly accepted the task.
“As a writer, I felt it was my duty to take this obtuse, nearly unreadable tome and transform it into sub-optimal entertainment,” Rothschild writes. “I gave myself a night and three cans of Boddingtons and ‘The Charge was Racism: The FA vs. Luis Suarez’ is the result.”
Football as drama. We have a feeling that other GFOPs might also be interested in reading the courtroom drama narrated by Sir Ian Darke. The document can be downloaded by clicking here.
It’s March and it’s madness. The FA Cup continued its slow but steady return to football’s radar of relevance over the weekend, with storylines abounding across England. And while the goal-scoring return of Chelsea’s Fernando Torres and vaudeville villainy of Liverpool’s Luis Suarez are subjects that warrant considerable attention in this week’s podcast, all of it pales in significance compared to the condition of Bolton midfielder Fabrice Muamba after his collapse during the quarterfinal clash at White Hart Lane.
Michael Davies and Roger Bennett review the remarkable storylines and salivate with anticipation at the week of scintillating football that lies ahead, including the seismic Manchester City-Chelsea matchup. The Blazered Men wrap up the pod by discussing the usual: How to fix the Champions League away goals rule, and whether “Ginger Ninja” is officially the greatest nickname in soccer.
Reason #289 we love football. Reminds me of those nature docs where the lion hunts the giraffe.
GFOP James Carr asks that we share this link “for the bellend who doubted the power of scarves.”
Own Goal featured in this week’s Sports Illustrated. But conceded? Nice try. If they’d been following the season they’d know there was nothing passive about it.
