GFOP’s made their nominations for our First Annual Biped of the Year Contest in the thousands. Was that because there were so many outstanding performances last year or that EA Sports had provided 10 copies of a Limited Edition Men In Blazers FIFA 14 game for the winners?
Irrespective, an impartial panel of highly trained baby pandas chose the top ten, including one Grand winner who will receive the limited edition game AND a MiB Blazer patch.
The Grand Winner is Seth Elliott Meyer, a GFOP living in Berlin, Germany who chose the selective goal scoring ability of John Obi Mikel when his Chelsea goal tally went to an emphatic ONE, and re-wrote Longfellow’s psalm of life and its sage last line “Learn to labor and to wait as "An Ode to Obi." An epic poem, which ended:
Lives of great men all remind us
We can in fact put the ball in the net,
And, departing, leave behind us
Kneeprints that the corner of the pitch gets;
Kneeprints, that perhaps Mikel,
Sailing o’er life’s solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.
Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.
The nine other GFOP winners were:
Jered Schneider who re-wrote “Romeo, Romeo” to nominate Romelu Lukaku
James Coleman for nominating Aaron Ramsey “for proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that Piers Morgan knows nothing about football.”
Andrew Sullivan from Anchorage, Alaska who nominated Pope Francis and enabling the Pontiff to add our Biped Award to Time Magazine’s and The Advocate’s Person of The Year for a historic treble. “He’s winning trophies in 2013 at a Bayern Munich rate.”
Dani Kohn who nominated Rebecca Lowe’s hairdresser
Mike Tomei who nominated Sepp Blatter “the man who will hand the World Cup Trophy to Clint Dempsey on July 12, 2014”
Paul Prins who nominated “The Denver groundsman during the Snow Game”
James Coleman who wrote in Valryian to nominate Jon Miller President, Programming NBC Sports and NBC Sports Network
Cody Eden who nominated GFOP Kyle Beckerman and re-wrote Pearl Jam’s “Betterman” to bolster his case
Christopher F. Orman for choosing the late, great Gerry Baker