England has produced many great poets william…

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England has produced many great poets: William Shakespeare, Wilfred Owen and Jane Austen among them.  

As the football world learned last week, Wayne Rooney’s name can be added to that list. In a recent interview with The Independent, former England youth coach Dick Bate revealed a then young Rooney once startled his U-17 England squad by reading aloud a poem he had penned about how he loved playing for his country. The poem has been lost to time, and we asked GFOPs to channel their inner-Chaucer and pen a Rooney-esque poem. Proof that art can be found even in the mundane.  

A few of our favorites: 

Upon the shores of TraffordA light called out aheadA clarion call to gloryBathed bright in white and redIt startled wives and childrenFilled rivals hearts with dread‘Twas not the sun on AlbionBut the glare off Rooney’s head-GFOP Sean Kittridge (MiB Patch Winner)

My name is Wayne RooneyI was born the year they released The GooniesI’ve had two hair transplantsMy World Cup Play will disenchantI’ve played for the QueenMarried a gal named ColeenWhile I wish I was tallerI’ll still always be known as an English Footballer-GFOP Lauren Oubre

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-GFOP Jordan Wohl