GFOP Paul Collins eagle-eyed the one and only at the 1:13 mark. He writes, “I noticed something appalling/titillating. It was our precious Lady Physio being attacked! Get your male parts off of her, Michael Essien!”
Americans were faced with a very difficult decision on Sunday. Either spend time with your one true love. Or pass the hours on Mother’s Day with wives, matriarchs and the like. Many chose the former, perched in front of an endless numbers of monitors tuned in to Soccer.
Here’s a story of one GFOP, Matt Steber, who tried to get away with both…
Having not missed a Manchester City game in ten years, I found myself faced with a dilemma this past Sunday. Mother’s Day. How cruel to have the final EPL day on Mother’s Day.
I decide to be a good husband and take my wife and kids to NYC for the weekend (knowing I would score big points with the wife for missing the match for her). Sunday after breakfast we made our way to the Metropolitan Museum. Little did she know that while she was admiring priceless works of art with the kids, I was watching the match on my phone. After the equalizer I moved ahead to another exhibit so I could watch more intently.
As the final shot smashed into the back of the net, I momentarily forgot that I was in the Museum, jumped off the bench and screamed into the face of a Greek statute as If I was at Etihad. Hearing the racket my family entered that wing only to find me being escorted out of the museum by security. Needless to say it was a long and quiet ride back to Philly. After two hours of complete silence in the car, my wife turned to me and said, “I’m glad your team finally won, you prick.”
Three days and one diamond ring later, all is forgiven and the house is back to normal. I hope the security tapes never make it to YouTube.
(GFOP Curtis vents after an incredible weekend. Send your telegrams to meninblazers@gmail.com)
To Roberto Mancini and the Manchester City players,
First off, thanks for making Survival Sunday an epic day of football. What an unbelievable finish to the season.
Second, amid all the celebrations, home fireworks displays, and Boddingtons-soaked orgies… take a second to realize what you’ve accomplished this season. Man City, with your billions of dollars and elite world-class squad, you managed to (barely) beat a Man United squad with the median age of an old folks home… consisting of a retired mid-fielder, more than a few should-have-been-put-out-to-pasture players and a half blind goalkeeper. And it took you until the very last day of the season… dramatic pause… in the final 5 minutes of stoppage time. Way to go chaps.
Maybe instead of all the celebrating, Roberto, you should be calling your squad in tomorrow to start running drills for next season.
